How Long?

How long will I be able to enjoy? To be happy? To laugh? To cry? To think, and breathe, and live? To wonder and build? To imagine, and feel, and express myself? When will it end? ...Will it end? Or will it go on and on? Or is there some point in time that ends it all? Will it end when everything ends? ...Or will the end simply be a new beginning?

Acquittal

Goodbye: Our matter touches and separates for the last time, and I can feel it. I know that I'll never again feel the caress of your fingers upon my flesh, or hear the sound of your tangibly sweet voice clinging to the edge of my ear. You say that you'll see me again, but I know that you are already gone. I try to tell you not to go, but I am helplessly locked inside as I watch you walk away, abstracted from what will come. I'm not surprised when I hear the news, only filled with anguish. Realizing that I really could have prevented this horrific adversity, I know that my abhorrence and compunction will haunt me forever. Please forgive me...

Hi, I'm a Speck.

What is there? Is there anything here? Everything is everywhere, yet nothing is nowhere. Time is space and space is time, they are both infinite, and they are eternal slaves to each other. The Earth is somehow caught up in this mess, and as I spring forth from it with life, I realize that I mean nothing. I am insignificant to the universe, and so are you, reader. We are merely a place in time and space. And yet, while I mean nothing to everything, everything means so much to me. I cherish every moment that I have experienced, and that is the beauty of it all. Once we cease to care about what the rest of the world thinks of us, we can discover true happiness. Everything that we already have is all that we need.

Chiaroscuro

The highlights of the Sun trickle down upon everything, and waves crash into my ears like daggers. Wispy clouds speckled here and there across the echoing ocean of the atmosphere slowly dissipate into something I can't see, but I know it's there.

Sisters

Sisters; we are sisters: We are the same, and I can feel the part of you that's in me. It's this strong, deep feeling that sweeps over me in a wave of purity and innocence, and its heavy aura fills my heart with a longing only to see that you are content. I only wish that you may endure the happiest of lives, and that I can share it with you. I love you so much, Callee Jo, you are my best friend. You are the only one in this entire universe who will come even remotely close to understanding me and who I am, for our neverending friendship is an infinite entity of raw honesty and truth. We are connected; we are whole, and without you I would be nothing. You have guided me through life like a mother, and for that I am forever grateful. You taught me how to laugh, how to cry, how to be angry, how to have a broken heart; you taught me how to live. I could never think of a way to repay you; I'm not sure it is possible. I am eternally indebted to you, yet all I can do is ask that you spend what time we have left in this world beside me as my sister.

Wind

Leaves--some dry and crumbled, some still green and hanging on. My flesh, trembling with the cursory chill of the northern front: I hear it high in the trees, and then it tumbles down on top of me, and I can feel it; I can see it in the bows of these giants, I can smell the fresh, clean essence of the air hovering thinly about me... And I can taste the light nothingness whip across my tongue as a bellowing sigh escapes from my confines of my body and is swept away with it.

Nothing

Nothing to say, nothing to think.
Nothing to eat and nothing to drink.
Nothing to see, nothing to hear.
Nothing to love and nothing to fear.
No reason to live, no reason to die.
Nowhere to run and nowhere to hide.
Nothing to be, nothing to know.
Nowhere to stay and nowhere to go.
Nothing to smell, nothing to taste.
Nothing to save and nothing to waste.
Nothing to choose, nothing to feel.
Nothing is fake and nothing is real.

Alone

This day that has passed was not a day at all. Meaningless tears fall from my eyes, confusing and senseless. Self-destruction and insane solitude spawn within, and as I wonder aimlessly in my boat of thoughts, I realize that I'm floating in a sea of people. Their arms reach out for me, but I back away in fear, oblivious to their sincerity. I sit alone and dwell within my own self-pity and remorse, and my soul slowly slips away into pitch.

Ego

Distant eyes gaze upon me, and I cast my night's web into the darkness. The plants are all glued to the ceiling, and crushed lightbulbs lie at my feet. Their jagged edges ebb away at my callused toes, and the hands of time turn slowly so that I can palpably feel each tear of the flesh. Copious bundles of jams and jellies wait yonder 'cross the room, and they call my name with a sweet, sticky breath. As I lie down and slowly slip into a dream, my passions begin to break through: The ego has finally dissipated, its presence never to mock my ambitions again. I am now free to believe and imagine anything that I wish, for nothing is holding me back: Nothing and everything have at long last fastened together to create time itself, neverending. I am given life, yet I cannot feel content or grateful? Irony taints this realm within as its foul, reprehensible atmosphere consumes my life and the world around me.

Clouds

Milky little nebulae frolic throughout this clear, angelic void of space to form delicately dancing shapes within my tiny hands. As I mold them into the contours of my mind and gently set them free, I can only hope that this fantasy can be seen by all the world. Yet, sometimes we fail to notice these humble beauties roaming nomadically across the sky; we forget to look up and embrace the ever-shifting elegance of the clouds.

Gravity

Looking up to the midnight sky, I can see the stars and the planets, the moon and the light it shines down on me... It seems that so much is within my grasp and just right before my eyes, but it is all so incredibly far away. I want to learn so much; I want to see and feel and hear everything that's beyond this cage that I am literally forced to dwell within... The only thing holding me back is gravity.

Chance

This is a chance to learn all that we can;
A chance to become something.
This is a chance to wonder, imagine, and create;
A chance to attain and absorb everything.
This is a chance to travel to the places that we've never been;
A chance to go out and meet the people who will change us forever.
This is a chance to live;
A chance to take chances, and then die.

Perception

What if you were mute? You would not be able to shout, or even whisper. And if you were blind, your sight would you find absent. If you were deaf? What if music could never bring you joy again? What if you could never lay eyes upon your beautiful children? Or hear their laughter? Or tell them "I love you!" What if you could not feel the intimate touch of your love? If you could not even smell the sweet scent they leave behind in the sheets, and in their clothes... Or the empty taste they leave lingering on your lips after a warm, embracing kiss, only compelling you to lust for more?

Death

Death; it's sickness and plague spreading like rot upon the bow of an ancient tree, waiting, anticipating that final moment when it finally breaks beneath the pressures of life.

Open Your Eyes

How intriguing it is that we so often forget the trivial bliss of life that
thus immaculately entwines us with all the universe: We over look most of the world
that is laid but right before our feet.

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Cease to awaken, dear one; sleep softly upon the clouds of your dreams. The orange rays of the brilliant sun shine brightly across the clear blue sky, and you behold it all within your mind. Your heart creates this black hole in your thoughts, disrupting the processes of your ego, but this interruption is quite on the contrary to what you may expect. Without this beautiful, compelling hiatus of thought, you would feel nothing; nothing, not because it would be nothing, but because truly nothing would be there at all. We are each an intricate puzzle, and with pieces missing, how can we truly understand ourselves? Even without a single piece, we cannot be completely sure of what we are...We are left only to guess what may lie ahead of us. Our ego strives to remain constant, to keep the passions buried within our subconscience, never to realize our true purpose in this labyrinthine enigma known as life. But can this really be possible? In an existence so possibly beautiful, can there really be so many flaws? Ah, but it is not the world itself that is so damaged, but rather the establishment that we as humans have ravished upon it. We will only continue to worsen everything; blind and ignorant. We are doomed to demise within our own entrapment as we anticipate the dissolution of our very essence.

Listen

Grip the handlebars and take a ride!
Don't worry, my love, I'm on your side.
I have much to show you on this night,
So take my hand and hold it tight.
Never forget the things you will see,
For they will endow gifts unto thee.
I have chosen you to witness such things
Because your mind is the choir that sings
The hymn of truth, O', what truth.
Beyond the ordinary, into the uncouth,
Where only few have the courage to percieve
And also a mind strong enough to believe.
You're a very special person, I must admit:
Not many can form such bliss from the shit.
I'm telling you, young one, please don't float astray,
The void will swallow you if you don't know the way.
Follow me lightly, leaving only a faint path,
So those who are searching can discover the math.
You must attain the knowledge to resolve this equation,
Or you'll never understand this unworldly relation.
Certainly you'll pick it up along your way,
But you cannot search for it: Many games does it play.
It will only enter when your thoughts are far from it;
You must scale the infinitely heightening summit.
But the fourth dimension patiently awaits you,
So take some time to explore things anew.
O', my darling, how confused you must be!
I did not mean to frighten you, please, do not flee!
Someday you will surely begin to understand,
For your future holds so many great things planned.
You must never take confusion and exchange it for fear;
Things don't always make sense, but it's really quite clear.
To control the fear you must search deep inside,
Though you wish sometimes not to seek, but to hide.
Still, you are in charge of obtaining the clues
and applying what you know to ignite the fuse;
A spark, a light that breaks the dawn.
Your fears will all too soon be gone,
And at this moment you will finally understand
Why I needed you to take hold of my hand.

Waiting Room

I'm waiting for something.I don't know what it is or when it will come, but when it does I will know why I've been waiting for it, and it will be an explanation for everything.

Ecstasy

You know, I feel like the winds of desire and hope are flowing through my veins and tickling my muscles, and expanding into my organs... Every time my heart beats, I can feel the blood pumping magically through my body like an elaborate roadway. The rainbows are trying to find a way out, so they shine through me, trying so hard to release what's been kept in for so long... As if what I know now is what I've always known, and I'll always know it... I am my own universe, my own galaxy, my own solar system, my own Sun, my own Earth, my own self... And I am both everything and nothing at the same time. I am Me, Myself, and I, and no one else... And no one else is me. So, if I am everything and nothing at exactly the same time in every moment of my life, in every moment of time itself, then what is everyone else? If no one is me, and I am everything and nothing, what is there left to be?

Resentful Utterance

I turn the page once more,
but this time I won't believe you.
Again
you want to tell me your word is worth something?
Equivocation.
Betrayal.
This attainment you speak of cannot be gained.
You'll just go back to that hole you call home
and expect our forgiveness.
Not this time: I'm finished.
I've eaten your false words
that were shoved down my throat
for the last time.
This dirty plate is thrown at your face
and you have absolutely
nothing to say.
Is your discontentment
worth all the bullshit?
One would hope so,
but I don't...
And it's not, is it?

Herds of Cattle

What's wrong with me?
Why did I do it...
I tore it apart. It's worthless.
Its words meant nothing.
Throw it all away.
So I did.
Then I thought again...
Burn it. Burn it all to the ash it deserves!
Did I so.
Satisfaction... Or was it?
Until I thought once more, it was.
But it was a lie...
So I lie here and pretend to sleep,
and I think of the lies--
the lies I've known,
the lies I've told,
and the lie I've become.
No one understands the lies, and that is why they lie...
Imitation.
And so did I...
But desistance
has shattered my resistance.